Hidden Route
by Allekha
Summary: He was getting tired of living his last year of high school over and over. He decided to try something slightly different. (Dating Sim Protagonist/Tomoda)


A/N: Written for Liviania for Trick or Treat 2015.

* * *

He didn't know how he got into this situation.

He didn't know how to get out of it.

He didn't know how many times he had gone through it so far.

What he did know was this: his social life could consist of up to twelve girls, plus Tomoda. His name was sometimes the same and was sometimes different; he could no longer remember exactly what it had been originally. And his time had been stuck on a loop, starting partway through his third year of high school and ending just after graduation (before he woke up at the end up summer break again).

It felt like he should have had infinite options, but for some reason he didn't. He had tried not going to school, but the impulse was too strong. He had tried booking a flight out of the country one weekend, but he had a panic attack on the train and had to turn around and go home. He had tried asking for help on the internet, writing down things that he _knew_ would come true in the next few weeks as proof of his situation, but he could never bring himself to actually hit the 'post' button.

Twelve girls and Tomoda. They didn't remember anything that had happened before the current cycle; he had tried getting help from each and every one of them multiple times at this point, but the words never passed his throat properly. At least he had multiple options for interacting with each of them, different things he could do in the situations that always or sometimes happened.

He had dated every girl at least a dozen times, had learned what they liked and what their schedules were like to the point that he could win their hearts in record time. Some of the relationships worked out better than others, but they were fun. He liked all of them, liked spending time with them and kissing them. Pursuing one or the other of them as a girlfriend and making friends with others proved to be a good way to pass his endlessly-repeating time.

(He had also spent more than one cycle being as mean as he could to as many of them as he could, sometimes out of frustration and sometimes out of desperation, in case it could break the cycle. Being such a horrible person for so many days took its toll, though, and he hadn't done that in a while.)

And Tomoda may not have remembered anything, but he came in handy. He had learned when Tomoda's advice was good and when it was not so good, though by now he didn't usually need to rely on the popularity charts.

This particular cycle he had given the dating scene a break and spent more time hanging out with Tomoda than he usually did. What was the point of getting a girlfriend if she wouldn't remember their relationship in a few month's time? That was how he currently felt – no doubt he would bounce back at some point.

Tomoda kept encouraging to go after a girl and became increasingly confused as fall rolled into winter and then as winter threatened to become spring. "It's almost the end of our senior year, and you haven't dated anyone," Tomoda complained to him in February.

"I don't like any of them well enough to want to date them," he said, though it wasn't entirely true. "There's always college." Except there wouldn't be, but Tomoda didn't know that.

It was actually nice to hang out with Tomoda, for once – he couldn't remember trying this before. Tomoda was easy to get along with; he didn't turn mad at hearing some venting, just commiserated, and was always waiting for him in the classroom after school. Tomoda had always helped him out in the pursuit of love, from scoring him tickets to covering for him at that one sleepover, and only now was he starting to realize that he had taken that for granted for many, many cycles. He had started to see Tomoda less as his friend and more as a way to easily score with girls.

They had been friends for years before this had started to happen, right? His memories from before all this had become fuzzy, but he still remembered hanging out with Tomoda and having fun together before they had gotten interested in dating. When had they stopped doing that?

February turned into March, and they graduated under the cliché bloom of sakura trees. "Congratulations on graduating!" Tomoda told him. "Three years just flew by... I'm glad I met you!"

Tomoda turned away. He always did that, always vanished back into the crowd of students, and that was the last he ever saw of him in a cycle.

But this time, memories flashed before his eyes.

 _Both of them, covered in dirt._ " _He he, you do it pretty well, don't you? I'm impressed!_ "

" _Leave this to me, you check on Kaori-chan!_ " _Despite the dozen gangsters closing in on them, metal baseball bats rattling against the pavement_.

" _Keep it together! What do you think'll happen if you give up?!_ " _Tomoda's impassioned face as he yelled at him._

 _Tomoda curling one hand against his cheek_. " _He he, no need to thank me. It's embarrassing, you know?_ "

He acted without thinking. "Tomoda!" he called, then caught his friend by the arm and pulled him out into the thicket of trees. Petals rained on them with every breeze, and now they were alone. The voices of their classmates were distant. Tomoda stared at him, obviously confused.

"I... I just realized now. Tomoda, you've always been there for me. You've always encouraged me and helped me out so much, and I've taken that for granted."

Tomoda murmured his current name, looking at him wide-eyed. "It, it's fine. I don't mind. As long as I can support you, that's what matters most."

"That's not enough." He hung his head. "Tomoda, you like me, don't you?"

Tomoda gaped. "I... um, well... yes. But it's fine. I've been happy like this, I _am_ happy like this, I really am. Please, at least let me stay your friend."

He lifted his head, looked Tomoda in the eye. Words came to his mouth unbidden. "No. That's not good enough. I... I like you! I don't need a girlfriend if I have _you_!"

They hovered there, awkwardly, until he took Tomoda's own advice and leaned over to kiss him. Then Tomoda kissed _him_ , and then they were standing there together as close as could be. Both of them had dropped their bags to the carpet of petals, and neither of them heeded the bustle going on beyond the trees. "Are you sure about this?" Tomoda murmured. "This isn't the easy route."

"Love isn't supposed to be easily," he declared. "And it doesn't matter so long as we do this together."

That night, he went to bed, his heart thumping like it always did on the last day when he had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, it seemed. He texted Tomoda with a good-night and closed his eyes. Soon he would be back at the beginning of another cycle. Maybe he could do this again next time, but put some more work into it. Have some more time with Tomoda. It was only fair, right?

When he awoke, the air was warm. At school, Tomoda greeted him cheerfully. Now, though, he thought he could read the signs, the way Tomoda was a little _too_ over-invested in his romantic life. He tried to suggest that the spend some time together later, but all he said was the same thing he always said on the first back from break.

Oh, well. At least he could spend time with Tomoda after class.


End file.
